Adam Lambert, Going Hetero

A recent headline on The Huffington Post intrigues me: ADAM LAMBERT GOES HETERO, TONGUES GIRL FOR DETAILS. The text beneath the title draws me in even more: “Lambert is on the cover of Details, and inside he impersonates a heterosexual in an awkward photo shoot.”

Okay, let’s get this straight (no pun intended):

• Lambert goes hetero?
• He impersonates a straight dude?
• And his faux-heterosexual photo shoot is awkward?

Before I even get to the article or the photos, I’m both interested and repulsed. First, I am curious to see this magazine editor’s interpretation of Lambert feigning a heterosexual. I mean, minus the eyeliner and nail polish, is this really a stretch? For cryin’ out loud, when onstage, he’s virtually the physical embodiment of flashy costume-wearing, hip-gyrating, uber-masculine Elvis Presley (see above).

At the same time though, I’m also offended that this talented (and, yes, fascinating) American Idol runner-up is being described in such a narrow-minded and peculiar manner. Seriously, who uses the phrase impersonates a heterosexual? So when a gay guy cups some random woman’s breast for an hour-long photo shoot, he is embodying a straight male? Needless to say, I had several preconceived notions about the content and intent of this article (as well as its accompanying photos) before I read it.

Without further ado, here are Lambert’s pictures from Details (others may be found on this slideshow).

Granted, there are definite problems with these images: for example, why does the girl have to be so objectified, so passive? Why does Lambert get to be clothed, on top, so active? Finally, why is the girl the only one who looks directly at the viewer, inviting voyeurism? But I suppose the pertinent questions are these: do the pictures look awkward, and is this really “going hetero”?

My answer is no, Lambert’s photo shoot does not look awkward. In fact, it resembles some of the provocative black-and-white ads of Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren, which feature men and women who may or may not be straight, gay, or bisexual (see below). Moreover, does positioning a openly gay man next to or atop a naked woman ultimately symbolize heterosexuality? Again, no, it doesn’t. The entire shoot is an act, a carefully orchestrated act implying neither hetero- nor homosexuality. After all, the reader knows that one-half of the couple in question is gay. Rather its main purpose, it seems here, is shock and awe.

There are equally frustrating ideas within the text of the article as well, many of which continue to suggest that Details is attempting to rewrite the sexuality of Adam Lambert. For example, when Lambert performs, evidently bras, panties, feather boas, and beach balls are frequently tossed onstage. According to the article, “When a brightly colored beach ball arrives, [Lambert] gives it a swift, hard kick into the crowd. Not a girlie kick, either (italics mine).” Additionally, it is noted that at one arena “twenty thousand fans unleash bloodcurdling screams [when Lambert walks onstage]. And they’re not all girls. There are dudes—straight dudes who look up to the stage with expectation, waiting to see this guy who held his own singing with Kiss and Queen: their bands.”

I suppose these qualifiers–no girlie kicks and straight fans–serve to comfort the (straight) reader, reassuring her/him that although Lambert is gay, his actions and talent reach across gender lines; the singer can pull in hardcore heterosexual males whose favorite bands are Kiss and Queen (shock! awe!). And really?! Kiss and Queen are cited as the “masculine” competition here? Grown men who wear makeup and platform boots? And a band with a gay lead singer who has a fetish for sequins? Helllloooooo.

Something is just amiss with all of this. The entire piece is riddled with contradiction, confusion, and arguably, homophobia. While I’m not exactly sure what is going on, I am sure that it bothers me. I’ve been a fan of Adam Lambert since he stepped onto the Idol stage (see my earlier posts about EW’s infatuation with Lambert’s sexuality and the American Idol’s results show). Consequently, I (along with several others no doubt) am anxious to engage with the music he has created and the star persona that he–and hopefully NOT magazines like Details–will continue to mold.

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